Silence Speaks Loudly

Silence as a communications vehicle?  Has Jack gone off the deep end on us?

Think back… Mom or Dad greeted you at the door, arms crossed, standing bolt upright and silent as the granite cliffs.  You heard loud and clear that you did something and you were out of favor (to understate the obvious).  Silence communicates disappointment and anger.

How about when having an uncomfortable conversation seeking compromise or restitution on your part and the speaker drops a solution with 2 or more horrible (your view) choices and then clams up.  Without prospect of additional information or an opportunity to move the conversation to a more neutral point, the impact of the silence becomes all too apparent in a matter of seconds – pressure.  Silence communicates persuasion.

Or when being interviewed for a job and the interviewer asks an open-ended question and just listens – actively but noncommittally.  As the silence embraces you after your initial answer, you feel compelled to offer more to your answer. [You can have fun with politicians by going silent after asking a pointed question – many can’t help themselves from expanding the response beyond the usual talking points]  Silence yields more informative communications.

I was at a meeting of the Reston Leadership Breakfast yesterday – the Friday before Memorial Day and the sponsor of the meeting was given an opportunity to tell the attendees about the services offered by his firm (a benefit of sponsorship) but instead asked the group to share a moment of silence in recognition of the women and men in the service of our country who have given their life to establish and preserve our freedom.  Through this simple action of calling for silence, Mike Megless (Narrow Door Consulting), clearly communicated his sincerity and integrity while leaving the audience with a richer sense of what his firm brings to the table that is more memorable than if he had given a 30-minute presentation.  Silence communicates values.

Silence communicates thankfulness and heartfelt gratitude.

As we observe this Memorial Day holiday, please join me in offering a few minutes of silence in tribute to all the individuals serving our country in whatever capacity to protect us and guard our freedom, and in memory of the others who have perished to secure and continue our freedom. Bless you!

What I want to sell!

Bruce sent me an email outlining his ideas for upgrading his business. He had three things he wanted to sell

I have seen this before. When people are upgrading their offering, they start by focusing on what THEY want.

Two of the offerings were what he does real well. We’ve been doing it for years.

I asked if he had ever sold the third. Well…no.

So let’s start developing the descriptions of how the customers saw the value in the past. That’s the fastest and best way to describe what you want to sell next.

The customer’s experience is much closer what the prospect wants than what the salesman wants to show.

Bruce then says, “But I have a lot of good stories. Which one should I pick?”

And they called it…The Birth Of The Blog!

These posts really do get more interesting when you comment! Turn up your illumination!

It’s Scary to Listen to Me!

Well, not really, but sometimes it is truly amazing what comes out of someone’s mouth.

Communications can be derailed by unintended comments.

For example, picture a person in a persuasive conversation with another individual to change their mind or sell them a project; the speaker leans in – inspiring sincerity – and says “to tell the truth…” This may be used as a transition term with an intent to demonstrate trustworthiness (if any thought was given) – however now the listener is on alert, thinking – ‘if this is labeled as truth, what about all the other stuff I’ve heard.’ Flash freeze on changing a mind now.

What about someone who is telling you about the scope of services and launches into a story recounting a number of customers who deliver complex jobs at the 11th hour and want it delivered in record time? The speaker is demonstrating what?: top notch customer service, going the extra mile, working miracles? Sally Strackbein points out in her communications training “don’t talk about what you don’t want!” What does the listener take away from the Super-Services delivery: I can use these folks for last minute panic stuff. Is this the intent of the message?

How about a presenter who speaks in acronyms? Or in the slang of the industry? Or is so busy dropping names that the point of the discourse is lost? It’s pretty hard to recapture the attention of a listener who has checked out. But wait, there’s still more ways that speakers can torpedo their conversations.

Is it effective to drop the phrase ‘to kill two birds with one stone’ when speaking with the Audubon Society, or to try to sound more impressive by using unfamiliar words – e.g., ‘forget the guy! Just illiterate him from your memory’. [obliterate] At best this confuses the communications as the listener reacts to personal sensibilities.

Yogi Berra is famous for butchering the language (also for being a Hall of Fame catcher too). Folks hang on his every word, chuckling with delight when he launched another Yogi-ism. He entertains. He does not persuade or sell with his banter. Relive some of the classics: “It’s so crowded, nobody goes there.” “The little things are big.” “The future ain’t what it used to be.” You’d say HUH?, smile a little, and move on. No effect on your view of Yogi’s professional activities as a catcher for the Yankees; right?

Unfortunately, as professionals, we are expected to be clear in our communications and articulate our thoughts to lead, persuade, sell, educate and direct. When we miss the mark by uttering something unintended, our goal is now harder to achieve. Communicate simply, and give care to what you are saying. We are not infallible and will make mistakes – unavoidable to be sure – but being aware will help to minimize the frequency.

Let’s give Yogi the last word on the subject:

“I really didn’t say everything I said!” Don’t we wish!!!

Does it make sense to not say wrong things? Your thoughts and stories?

More practice please!

Does most of what we do seem to be a reaction to an occurrence rather than part of a plan? Maybe it is all the revelations about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico or those surrounding the recent “economic meltdown” but it seems to me that there is a lot less attention being paid to thinking ahead than I can ever remember.

One of the big benefits of my association with Dick Davies (president of Sales Lab, Incorporated) is his interest in “practicing” the sales profession. I have used his system for more than 20 years, very successfully. But having almost daily contact with him these past few months has really helped me appreciate the value of thinking through a presentation, of knowing the important points for each prospect before I arrive, and of developing the “small” elements when I have the time to consider each one.

Whether I am planning an event, a campaign, or the installation of an oil rig, thinking the enterprise through from start to finish has a lot of value. Knowing what you want before you get started on a project is an essential part of success and considering a few “what ifs” might just save you from a disaster. Fashion models practice, baseball players practice, musicians practice; shouldn’t sales professionals, government officials, and oil company executive practice as well?

Selling “Innovative”

I have had the opportunity to sell flat out, brand new, never-been-seen-before technology several times.

In each case the existing crew was killing themselves to have the prospect understand how innovative their offering was. I remember a mandatory eight hour demo that absolutely defined a “false positive.”

Nobody cared.

After some trial and much error, I learned that people with money don’t want to buy “innovative.” They want “It’s just like what you’re already using…only faster, cheaper, and better.”

That’s what they want.

Oh, and after three years, Bubba turned that eight hour demo turned into a five minute “drive-bye demo” Prospects would ask us to do it again and again as it was so short.

They bought more, too.

I’ve heard that the best readers comment. How about helping out?